Completed: December 2004
This series of three paintings (Victim, Whore, Slut) was wrenched from my soul by events that tore at my life and incited darkness in my being. Focusing my feelings of destruction into the canvas, these images appeared.. I let go of myself, let go of my normal habits of perfectionist painting.. and poured my hate into the paint.
As an afterthought brought upon my synchronicity after these paintings were created, I realized that the undercurrents of my subject and inspiration related to the XV: The Devil card in Tarot.. Specifically these following passages of an interpretation..
"The Devil comes to you like the most beautiful thing you ever saw. After all, he *is* an angel."
"Instead of being a perfect balance, a union of masculine and feminine within one soul; two unified beings celebrating the blessedness together... the Devil is more likely to manifest as something that looks like love, talks like love, walks like love, smells like love... but isn't love.
In our quest to be loved, before we are whole and love ourselves, we embrace the Devil. It is all we think we want, fills needs we believe no one else can fill, it begins to control our thought patterns and change our world. In modern culture, it is beamed at us, reinforced in us, and constantly referred to AS love, so it isn't surprising when we get confused and turned around and enslave ourselves to it.
Real love does not fill any need in your life. It does not obligate you to any action. It is a reflection of the love you have for your Self, for the world around you, for Deity and wonder and joy. You get love by giving it, freely, without trying to 'buy' affection or display through actions or words. You just open your heart and love the people around you, and people love you back. "
Out of this, came the title of the series. "Angelic Destruction".. Welcome to my pain.